My standard disclaimer: I know nothing about whisky. I jot down how each one makes me feel (in my own way), and it’s entirely possible if I tasted a particular whisky again I’d come to a completely different conclusion (depending on my frame of mind.) Regard these notes more as an exercise in creativity than a comment on each dram!
Whisky tasting notes, 12 March 2020
- Nose: sweet, banana-ish, junior-school-tuck-shop smell.
Palate: faintly liquorice taste?
Finish: Warm, like getting the seat next to the radiator after an hour outside on a snowy playground.
Overall: I like it!
(Glenburgie 15yo 40%, £57)
- Nose: sweet, banana-ish… is it a clone? A little bit sharper.
Palate: ever so slightly more bitter, maybe?
Finish: Warmer and a bit throat-grabbier, like sitting next to the aforementioned radiator, but your bare knee accidentally grazes against it and you get a slight hot nip.
Overall: I like both of these!
(Glenburgie 15yo 40% from about 20 years ago, £near-fuck-all, probably closer to £60 these days?)
- Nose: broken wind; the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles. Rotten cabbage, Parmesan cheese, and maybe just a hint of vomit.
Palate: bitter. You know how that guy in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade drank from the false grail, and then he aged 400 years in 5 seconds, and then died? And the grail knight popped up and said “He chose… poorly.” That’s what this whisky did for me.
Finish: fiery, hot – like the desiccated skeleton of that guy who “chose… poorly”.
(Hazelburn, Springbank Distillery, 13yo 50.8% triple-distilled; smokiness might come from the barrel – £unknown)
- Nose: rubber and nail polish, like a fetishist getting ready for a night out on a sweaty summer evening. Hints of chocolate, nuts, and farts.
Palate: insipid, watery, burnt; a bit bitter/sour too, like the current state of Anglo-American politics. I feel confused and violated.
Finish: warm but not smoky – like nuclear waste.
Overall: confused. Jesus fuck, what is happening? (Or is it because I’m drunk right now?)
(Highland Park, Orkney, 12yo 48%, £60 – Mark who runs these tastings didn’t recognise this particular dram from his own previous experiences with the whisky, and was a bit confused and let down too…)
- Nose: scorched pork – sweet and smoky, with a hint of pigs screaming for their lives.
Palate: dinner with the dragon
Smog SmowgSmaug: fuck it, it’s toasted.
Finish: warm, smoky.
Overall: usually I don’t go for smoky, peaty whiskies, but I could get used to this. This will burn off coronavirus. COVID-19, I DEFY YOU!!!
(Caperdonich 18yo 48%, £95 – this distillery has been extinct since 2002, so is probably worth a hell of a lot more!)