Whisky tasting notes: March 2020

My standard disclaimer: I know nothing about whisky. I jot down how each one makes me feel (in my own way), and it’s entirely possible if I tasted a particular whisky again I’d come to a completely different conclusion (depending on my frame of mind.) Regard these notes more as an exercise in creativity than a comment on each dram!

(Previous notes can be found here).

Whisky tasting notes, 12 March 2020

Whisky 1a)

  • Nose: sweet, banana-ish, junior-school-tuck-shop smell.
    Palate: faintly liquorice taste?
    Finish: Warm, like getting the seat next to the radiator after an hour outside on a  snowy playground.
    Overall: I like it!
    (Glenburgie 15yo 40%, £57)

Whisky 1b)

  • Nose: sweet, banana-ish… is it a clone? A little bit sharper.
    Palate: ever so slightly more bitter, maybe?
    Finish: Warmer and a bit throat-grabbier, like sitting next to the aforementioned radiator, but your bare knee accidentally grazes against it and you get a slight hot nip.
    Overall: I like both of these!
    (Glenburgie 15yo 40% from about 20 years ago, £near-fuck-all, probably closer to £60 these days?)

Whisky 3)

  • Nose: broken wind; the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles. Rotten cabbage, Parmesan cheese, and maybe just a hint of vomit.
    Palate: bitter. You know how that guy in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade drank from the false grail, and then he aged 400 years in 5 seconds, and then died? And the grail knight popped up and said “He chose… poorly.” That’s what this whisky did for me.
    Finish: fiery, hot – like the desiccated skeleton of that guy who “chose… poorly”.
    Overall: no.
    (Hazelburn, Springbank Distillery, 13yo 50.8% triple-distilled; smokiness might come from the barrel – £unknown)


Whisky 4)

  • Nose: rubber and nail polish, like a fetishist getting ready for a night out on a sweaty summer evening. Hints of chocolate, nuts, and farts.
    Palate: insipid, watery, burnt; a bit bitter/sour too, like the current state of Anglo-American politics. I feel confused and violated.
    Finish: warm but not smoky – like nuclear waste.
    Overall: confused. Jesus fuck, what is happening? (Or is it because I’m drunk right now?)
    (Highland Park, Orkney, 12yo 48%, £60 – Mark who runs these tastings didn’t recognise this particular dram from his own previous experiences with the whisky, and was a bit confused and let down too…)

Whisky 5)

  • Nose: scorched pork – sweet and smoky, with a hint of pigs screaming for their lives.
    Palate: dinner with the dragon Smog Smowg Smaug: fuck it, it’s toasted.
    Finish: warm, smoky.
    Overall: usually I don’t go for smoky, peaty whiskies, but I could get used to this. This will burn off coronavirus. COVID-19, I DEFY YOU!!!
    (Caperdonich 18yo 48%, £95 – this distillery has been extinct since 2002, so is probably worth a hell of  a lot more!)


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