During the restrictions of the Covid pandemic, I’ve joined in another online whisky tasting… this one consisted of three pairings and one individual dram.
My standard disclaimer: I know nothing about whisky. I jot down how each one makes me feel (in my own way), and it’s entirely possible if I tasted a particular whisky again I’d come to a completely different conclusion (depending on my frame of mind.) Regard these notes more as an exercise in creativity than a comment on each dram!
Whisky tasting notes: 22 August 2020
- Nose: a rambunctious West Highland Terrier humping a sheepskin rug.
Palate: sweet and a little bit cucumbery.
Finish: as ethereal and insubstantial as the ghost of a cucumber. Or Westminster’s response to the pandemic.
(Glenkeith 10yo 43%, owned for 15 years, bought for £14 at the time)
- Nose: watered-down paint thinner and melted-down scented candle.
Palate: like those foam banana candy sweets, or a Beverly Hills Cop banana in the tailpipe.
Finish: stall like a car with a banana in its tailpipe. I AIN’T FALLIN’ FOR NO BANANA IN THE TAILPIPE!
(Glenkeith 40% -no age statement- £22)
- Colour: amber traffic light – full speed ahead before it goes red!
Nose: like hints of the perfume counter at the pharmacy, when you’re way over in the medicine aisle.
Palate: tangy, sweet, gentle; with water it’s like a liquid shrug, or a Hershey bar.
Finish: That bland, emotionless feeling of exiting a pharmacy, except someone’s smoking by the doorway.
(Macallan/ Spey malt sherry cask, 14yo 43%, £65)
- Colour: join me on the dark side!
Nose: forest walk and modelling glue, like a teen who’s off to the woods for a sly huff of a plastic bag…
Palate: burnt rubber with spice and pepper, like a hot mess at a fetishists’ ball.
Finish: a bit salty, a bit smoky, so an island whisky?
(Berry Bros. & Rudd -established 1698- Batch 2, 44% blended malt, £27.95)
- Nose: “Smoooooooke on the waaaaater…” – is this going to wipe out my taste buds?
Palate: sweet, honey-glazed ham and bacon – or a mix of sweet and salty popcorn to watch Trump’s latest meltdown with.
Finish: I was expecting the ashes of 2020, but left with the sweet, tasty hope of 2021.
(Ben Bracken 46% 27yo single Islay malt, £70 from Aldi – collectively and personally, this was the favourite of the evening)
- Colour: so white it can’t dance.
Nose: nothing, like the vacuum at the heart of government.
Palate: faint hint of vanilla, like a placebo?
- Finish: a lingering heat, such as you might find when the rest of the universe is going through its interminable heat death.
(Kirkwall Bay 46%, no age statement, £38)
- Colour: so white it would demand to speak to the manager.
- Palate: smoky, sweet, watery.
Finish: throat-grabby and rough like a pipe-smoking granny who’s also a wrestler.
(Tobermory 47.5% 21yo, £65)
Now go away; I’m drunk now!